“Abandoning Myself”

“Abandoning Myself”
 
The walls are tumbling,
and my heart is crumbling,
down and down so low
I feel suffocation,
love has gone missing,
and my soul
has abandoned itself
 
 
I just feel like leaving,
hitting the road,
in a car I can’t afford,
following a plan i don’t have
Doesn’t matter when,
doesn’t matter where
Up North or due South,
but I surely gotta leave,
even for nowhere
 
 
Nothing left here for me,
but broken pieces,
of a soul once alive
and a heart once happy
 
 
 
 

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“Perfection”

“Perfection”
 
Everybody is out,
looking and searching,
for someone,

who is perfect,
in each and every way
 
 
Keep looking, my Friend,
like a dog chasing it’s tail
Just pure exhaustion,
and a spiral without end
 
 
Perfection,
not only a strange word,
also pure myth
Cause nothing is perfect
Not even the moon,
having its own imperfections
 
 
The beauty of imperfection,
it makes things special
Special trumps perfect,
anytime…anywhere…
 
 
One person’s “special”,
is that person’s “perfect”
 
 
And You my Friend,
you just have to believe in me,
like I do, in You
 
 
You my Dear,
are “special” to me,
making You perfect..!!
 
 
 

“The Silent Ignorance”

“The Silent Ignorance”

 

Like a hanging icicle,
of clear ice,
frozen in time
Happy in my silent ignorance,
until touched by You

   

Now melting away,
Drop by drop,
into nothing,
for nothing

   

Slowly and painfully,
into nothing,
for nothing
While thinking fondly,
and longing
For the silent ignorance

   

“The Universal Conundrum”

“The Universal Conundrum”

Sometimes, people go silent,
by choice and also by compulsion

 

On me being silent,
She said…

“I won’t talk to You ever…Go!”

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
to ask Herself… Why?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
what I was feeling…and why?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that I might just be in pain…
my soul writhing in agony?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that I might just be sad…
my senses engulfed by shadows?

 

For Her forgetting my birthday,
or simply ignoring it
As if it doesn’t matter,
not even a simple “Happy Birthday”

 

Neither a wish from the heart,
nor just a happy thought;
not even a fake smiley

 

For Her forgetting my special dates,
My dated days,
of special events
Both happiness and sadness,
on small gains and special losses

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
how much I love her?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
how much I hate her?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that she means everything to me?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that I would do anything for Her?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that I can’t “Go”,
no matter what?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
where would I go and Why….
when She is Here?

 

Sadly…

All of this never occurred to Her
But I do wonder,
how easily She said…

“I won’t talk to You ever…Go!”

 

I never thought,

I meant so little
Or had such menial existence,
almost no impact and importance,
upon Her life

 

And the word “Go”,
cruel and an icicle so sharp,
the pure torture,
is killing me

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that she was to be blamed
Wholely and solely…
for all that?

 

Did it ever occur to Her,
that I too was a part of this friendship?

 

That I have feelings too?
Don’t I get to have a say too?

 

Or is it ONLY Her…
whose opinion matters?

 

I wish she knew,
all my protests and all my complaints

I wish she knew,
all my sadness and all my anger

I wish she knew,
all my screams and all my cries

I wish she knew,
all my pains and all my losses

I wish she knew,
all my wins and all my longings

I wish she knew,
all my emotions and all my desires

I wish she knew,
that all my love and all that I have
was for her happiness alone

And in the end,

All of it boils down to my silence

‘Cause that is all,
She had ever allowed
And I ever had in my hand…

 

Cause no words,
would ever be enough,
either dignify or define
All the things I ever wanted to say
and all my explanations
on what She is to me

 

I so hate Her…
I could hug and kiss Her,
to death!

 

I admit,
between us, there is no need,
for apologies and gratitude

 

But still, at times,
we could both be right
And we could both be wrong

 

I wish She knew,
in friendships like ours,
in special bonds like ours,
It’s not necessarily,
always about Her

 

I wish She could see,

Sometimes,
even just for once,
or twice or thrice,
in a whole year,
I so need Her too

 

I wish She could realize,

once in a while,
I need Her,
to be there for ME!

“A Rainbow without Colours”

“A Rainbow without Colours”

Sad was life,
with constant dark clouds
Until one day,
she appeared out of nowhere,
A rainbow… filled with colors,
smiles and laughs
Full of life,
holding out an olive branch
Calling my name,
like I was the only man
and she, the only woman

 

Like a dying man’s last hope,
I leaped at the rope,
as if it was faith
I hugged it tight,
letting in moments of joy
O’ dear life…..
Dare I dream again..??

 

Eventhough merely, sprinkled my way
Like sparkling salt,
by the rainbow of life
I savored every droplet of color,
cherished every moment of joy
Her laughs, her smiles
Inhaled her as deep as I could
Taking in her presence
Every moment, so complete…
With nothing else left to desire

 

But little did I know,
it was all a mirage
What else would a thirsty fool see..??

 

Not for taste, or for touch,
the rainbow was only mine to see
It was real, alright,
but the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow,
was never really there, for me..!!

“My heaven on Earth”

“My heaven on Earth”

For You are the Heaven on earth that I always Wished for…
and now Long for…
Look for…
Smile for…
Write for…

 

The highest unattainable happiness
that my soul craves for…

 

Seeing into Your eyes…
Holding in my hands…
Your face….
Planting a kiss on your forehead…
Your smile… Your laughter…

 

Saying it out loud…
The sound of Your name…

As long as I live…

I will live…
and I will die…
For the sound of your feet,
Coming to me,
never to leave again.

“An Autumn Soul”

“An Autumn Soul”

Like a tree in Fall,
shedding its leaves
According to the season,
I wish,
I could shed my memories

 

But looking at a tree,
having shed it’s leaves
Dying second by second,
piece by piece,
I lose my resolve;
As it still looks sad,
By each falling leaf…

 

Nevertheless…
Each memory,
is a cause for celebration…

If You ever come looking for me…
You will find me dancing
Carelessly at the mercy of the wind…

 

Cause… my Love,
to me,
Neither love was ever a season,
nor am I…