It’s all about the journey, from the first cry to the last silence Nothing is definite, nothing is certain Everything and everyone, is writing in the sand
Stop trying to cage and capture, stop trying to pursue Your vividest dreams Your dearest wishes Your unbridled desires Your mirages and illusions
Let them flow freely, like the fresh mountain spring The water free and happy, choosing it’s own path
Like the silent wind, caressing you gently Whispering stories in your ear, while passing by
Like the nostalgic fragrances, of your loved ones Triggering sweet memories, taking you down the memory lane
Nostalgia is sweet, it brings solace even But nostalgia is sour, Regrets make it so
Stop being constipated, in your communication In the expression of emotions In spreading happiness, all around you
Perhaps unknowingly but still, you might just be killing someone Slowly but surely, squeezing out hope drop by drop
Grieving relentless tears,
boiling up within
Like a gathering tide,
slapping against the sea wall
But cry them tears, I couldn’t
Drowning in a sorrow,
bigger than the very heart
trying to hold it within
I am a very old iceberg,
but your presence in my life,
makes me melt;
I melt into feelings,
I had not felt for long
I was living with the cards,
life had dealt me since long
Life was over for sure,
at least that’s how I felt;
But then you made me realize;
Caressing her gently, holding her safely, I bring her to my lips Like a long lost friend longing for my touch, she clings to my kiss
Lighting a match of desire, I wrap her in flames I kiss her again, ignoring her pain, inhaling her deeply, She seeps into my soul, and warms up my very core I exhale and she dissolves into thin air
Sitting, brooding and contemplating, issues, concerns and griefs Jotting down thoughts and emotions, penning down the love and the loss Adding yet another word to words, creating a reflection of my thoughts
Without any objections, or interruptions Even though burning up, she stays by my side Till her last breath, dying for me, many a times each moment several times each day;
No doubt… She is indeed my most trusted friend, mirroring my thoughts, one thought at a time… Strange bond, this love of ours…
You will leave one day, leaving behind only pain and hurt Hollowness and emptiness, the meaningless passage of time Clueless but mindful, of the boat missed
Sailing off and taking away, my joys, my laughs and my pride My candle of light, the wick pinched cruelly Leaving me in darkness, all sad, lonely and bitter
You will leave one day, taking with you, my spirit and my life Gullible me… thinking, I would get what I give I would get what I deserve Who said life was fair..!!
You will leave one day, And so will I… But only when, the heart falls silent; and no heart left to beat..!!
The walls are tumbling, and my heart is crumbling, down and down so low I feel suffocation, love has gone missing, and my soul has abandoned itself
I just feel like leaving, hitting the road, in a car I can’t afford, following a plan i don’t have Doesn’t matter when, doesn’t matter where Up North or due South, but I surely gotta leave, even for nowhere
Nothing left here for me, but broken pieces, of a soul once alive and a heart once happy
Sad was life,
with constant dark clouds
Until one day,
she appeared out of nowhere,
A rainbow… filled with colors,
smiles and laughs
Full of life,
holding out an olive branch
Calling my name,
like I was the only man
and she, the only woman
Like a dying man’s last hope,
I leaped at the rope,
as if it was faith
I hugged it tight,
letting in moments of joy
O’ dear life…..
Dare I dream again..??
Eventhough merely, sprinkled my way
Like sparkling salt,
by the rainbow of life
I savored every droplet of color,
cherished every moment of joy
Her laughs, her smiles
Inhaled her as deep as I could
Taking in her presence
Every moment, so complete…
With nothing else left to desire
But little did I know,
it was all a mirage
What else would a thirsty fool see..??
Not for taste, or for touch,
the rainbow was only mine to see
It was real, alright,
but the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow,
was never really there, for me..!!
I walked through life… lost… Lost in my own thoughts, with not a care in the world; or bothered
of what was happening
Preoccupied by nothingness, totally oblivious and unscathed, to the passage of time Absolutely unconcerned, of my immediate surroundings Yes, I lived life -absent-mindedly
Then I met You A blessing or a curse? is yet to be determined All depending, whether the mind wins, or this foolish heart of mine..!!
Today I am scared of myself Of losing my empathy; of becoming unable to love truly Of abandoning my friends; turning into an introvert Not even able to love my self
Hell is nothing, compared to an empty heart; With the pockets of my soul, turned inside out Empty, with nothing left to offer
Neither happy nor sad, but plain empty I think you left me… Absent-hearted..!!
تم بیٹی ہو کسی کی کسی کی بہن کسی کی اَبرُو ہو تم گھر سے تم نکلتی ہو جب اسکول’و کالج کے لیے ساتھ میں خواب ، دعائیں والدین کی نیک تمنا سب ارمان لیے۔۔۔
گھر سے تم نکلتی ہو جب سَر اٹھاۓ ، بال ڈھکے نظریں مسکراتی پر جھکی ہوئیں پہنچتی ہو درسگاہ عزت کی دیوی بن کر
پِھر اللہ جانے تم کو ہوتا کیا ہے کلاس ہو یا کینٹین لائبریری ہو ، یا ہو کوئی باغیچہ بھول جاتی ہو گھر سے تم نکلیں تھیں جب کے تم کون ہو اور کس کی کیا ہو تم
شُتَر بیمہار ، منه اٹھائے چہرہ رنگوں سے سجاۓ دوپٹہ گلے میں لٹکاۓ زلفیں ہوا میں لہراتیں ہوئیں لیے چلتا ہے اک اجنبی محبت کا دلاسا دے کر باعزت لے جاتا ہے
بے عزت کرنے کے لیۓ
ہائے۔۔۔ صد افسوس چھن چُکی شان بے نیازی تیری مانگتی پھرو اب اپنا غرور اُس سے ہائے۔۔۔ صد افسوس
لٹی ہوئیں ، اجڑی ہوئیں گھر کو تم لؤٹتی ہو جب سَر جھکائے ، بال ڈھکے نظریں نم اور شکستہ عزت کی لٹی ہوئی داستان بن کر
آہ! او حوّا کی بیٹی ذرا ٹھہرو٬ ذرا سوچو تجھے ہُوا کیا ہے آخر اِس ذلت کی اتنی آرزو ، اتنی تمنا کیوں ہے
تم بیٹی ہو کسی کی۔۔۔ کسی کی بہن کسی کی آبرُو ہو تم۔۔۔
اپنی قدر آپ کرو …اور قدر کرواؤ
یہ وسوسے، یہ اُداسیاں عمر کے ساتھ ساتھ بڑھتا احساسِ تنہائی یہ جوانی اور اس کے عذاب یہ مشکلوں کے فقط چار دن ہیں
گزار لو ، عزت سے جیو ، سَر اُٹھا کے چلو ، سَر اُٹھا کے
جب گھر سے تم نکلتی ہو۔۔۔ جب گھر سے تم نکلتی ہو۔۔۔
تم بیٹی ہو کسی کی۔۔۔ کسی کی بہن کسی کی آبرُو ہو تم۔۔۔
پر سب سے پہلے۔۔۔ اپنے آپ میں۔۔۔ اپنی اگلی پیڑھی کی۔۔۔
مکمّل درسگاہ ہو تم۔۔۔
اپنے آپ میں۔۔۔ انمول ایک خزانہ ایک مکمّل عورت ہو تم
Life is a journey,
made up of smaller journeys
Longer and tiresome for some;
shorter and easier for others
Spanning over time,
some involuntarily;
decided by fate
While others;
on the choices made
and decisions taken
Indeed,
I have been to places
Even the devil dares not go
Now back again,
dragging my feet
along the designated path of life
With a blistered heart,
and a stabbed soul
I wonder still on the way,
What good a fork would do?
Barely standing on
the daily treadmill of life
Same routine, places and people,
wishes, wants and stale surprises;
lacking sparkle and luster
I realize:
I never re-connected
I wish I knew,
if I am back or not
If not……
then where am I?
In spite of all the time passed;
and all the distance covered
Still on the treadmill,
running a course called life
On borrowed time,
one walks through life
Borrowing parents;
and siblings for starters….
Later came toys,
books and what not
Post puberty,
borrowed moments,
of companionship
Stolen glances
and hidden flying kisses;
walking her home
Sharing candies and
telling jokes,
returning her smiles,
like God’s sweetest angel
Simple uncomplicated times
Nonetheless… all borrowed;
Then comes the time,
when one becomes of age
Hormones and emotions,
all confused and on the loose
April is cute, May has humour;
and June is just wild and shifty,
like a summer dune
Should I choose April, May or June?
Each playing their own
Unique love tune
Cute is a safe bet,
so April was first
Life feeling like playtime,
it was certainly “May time”..!!
But after a while, life felt tame,
I truly needed a real dame
Wild at heart, with a fire inside
So I knew, it had to be June
But then out of the blue,
it couldn’t be true…
There…
Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter,
all in one
Ahhh…. Fate or was it plain Faith..??
But how long can you tame the fire?
Needs of a wild heart are so very dire
Time and emotions both fall short,
Leaving or staying, nothing can thwart
left with no options and angered talk;
you either stay or you simply walk
Time passes and so the story goes
Borrowed was all,
joys and woes.
But the memories remain
Full of nostalgia,
and too much pain.
Everything was borrowed
or temporarily stolen
Except…. Memories…
Looking back,
Standing alone…
You truly now know
only the memories…
Are thine to keep
Her eyes so honest,
her smile so true
Her sweet good mornings,
my reason to get up;
no matter the season
Oh Yeah… She is my sunrise…
I feel her presence,
in my heart and soul
And all day long,
I am warm and cozy
Wrapped in a blanket,
of joy and affection;
feeling all rosy…..
Oh Yeah… She is my sunshine…
The darkest, coldest and
the worst of all days…
Feels like morning dew,
facing the sun,
simply fading away
All my worries and fears,
feel like stars lining the milky way
Oh Yeah… She is my sunset too
Hiking up and down God’s nature,
Aimless destination
And nowhere to be…
Taking it all in…
Ah, indeed, it is Kashmir!
Yet, I think of You..
O dearest,
The Nature reminds me of thee…!
You are the prettiest of blooms,
Lending this universe your pleasant fragrance.
A heart, as soft as a whorl of petals.
Most fragile and delicate
There could ever be.
Your soul and body…
A landscape of wild,
undisturbed network
Of paths, curves and valleys;
Undiscovered.
Soft green moss
Growing above hidden away caves;
Dewy and delicate,
As sinuous as Nature, itself.
The velvety touch,
Of your skin,
Beneath my hands;
Garbed by the most fetching and lush green vines.
With wild entanglements,
Of elaborate patterns,
like henna dyed hands.
Your wild emotional twines,
Embrace me with tenderness,
sincerity and poise.
Like a canopy of the forest,
Shielding me from all worldly harm,
Nurturing me in the blessed rain,
of your smiles, love and warmth.
O Kashmir…
I, forever… want to bask
In the comfort
of your feminine shade…!
I wonder if She knows,
men deal with heartbreaks too…
My pillow wets not from tears,
But the feathers inside shrink,
From all the warmth of the night long sighs,
trying to cry but failing miserably…
After all, I am a man..!!
I don’t close my eyes,
replaying all the good memories.
Instead, the dark nights’ pass,
staring at the slowly rotating fan,
contemplating what went wrong.
She never told me the ‘Why’..!!
Can’t ask her,
trying to figure it out myself…
After all, I am a man..!!
I don’t reach for the ice-cream tub,
eating and regretting,
sulking all night long in my pajamas.
Instead, I run in vain… to nowhere.
Lifting weights and doing bench presses,
torturing my body senseless.
Killing my regular appetite,
just to punish myself…
After all, I am a man..!!
I, perhaps, never remembered
dates and days.
but I never forgot her words.
Same words playing in a loop,
in my head,
walking, working or working out.
The loop is brought to a halt by silence.
That’s when regret takes over,
me suffering in silence…
After all, I am a man..!!
I don’t want to give love a second chance,
I just need someone…
someone to tell me,
‘it’s all going to be okay’.
Someone to tell me,
‘it’s okay to grieve’.
The silence and regrets,
might drive me insane,
or become inhuman even.
But I have to be stoic…
After all, I am a man..!!
I hide my sorrow and pain,
not even telling my best friend.
Not a word about heartbreaks,
not because I don’t trust my bestie.
but ’cause, I just ain’t programmed
to share emotional losses.
So I grieve in isolation, at least for the start.
After all, I am a man..!!
I wonder a lot of things,
when I think about it.
But what I wonder the most is,
if She knows…
that men too have a hard time,
dealing with heartbreak.
Men too, Darling…
Men too..!!
[Picture Credits:
Melancholy, 1894 by Edvard Munch]
Tied to a slab,
her hands by the sides;
and legs spread wide
In a dim-lit room,
the little girl stares;
with fear in her eyes
Tears rolling down her cheeks,
she looks up at the woman;
standing beside her,
holding her hand.
The woman…
supposedly her safe haven
‘Mama,’ the little girl pleads,
to her angel of mercy
The figure called ‘Mother’,
untouched and unmoved,
by her shrieks and screaming pleas
“Now now girl!
It will be over soon,
it will be fine
You’ll be a woman soon,”
Witnessing a procedure,
on her most precious treasure
A procedure,
that has no reason or logic
Gruesomely appalling;
mutilating a woman
to make her a woman
Our enemies defeat us not,
as much as our friends do
Priorities and desires change;
liking, affections, and affiliations too;
while human nature prevails
Change is imminent – that’s for sure
Survival is the game;
nothing else matters
Life corrupts the best of us,
in the pursuit of true happiness;
and the illusion of immortality;
Self-preservation of the “I”,
at its best…
Without reason or rhyme,
saying words so barren
Parched by the flames of hell,
doling out the Siberian frost;
chilling the soul to the bone
An aloofness and silence,
touched by death;
left sitting in a tomb of emotions
Why this treatment..??
One wonders..!!
We become monsters,
leaving the once cherished and valued ones… behind,
They become part of a forgotten past,
like they never mattered.
Did they really ever..??
This life will end, my Dear…
no matter everlasting happiness
or the never-ending pain;
we are not meant to live forever
When sweetness is ill perceived,
And affection a burden
When goodness is seen as weakness
And kindness expressed intolerable,
Emotions met with sheer coldness
And utter disregard…
When caring words fall upon deaf ears…
How could silence be heard…
How could absence have a say…
When presence matters nay.
In spite of common decency,
But the heart turned off…
Such works the minds,
Of people closest
What else can I say..??
Day in and day out,
Breathing in shattered emotions…
Breathing out pain..
Of a cold shoulder
And hurt feelings…
With a smile worn on my face,
Silently I feel broken glass
Creeping under my skin…
C’est la vie, apparently..!!
With all the hype
of the new year ringing in
No worries, My Dear
Don’t fret
It’s just a number
ascending yet counting down
Life ebbing away
with Your absence
No need to ask
for whom the bell tolls;
For sure,
it tolls for Me…
Blinded in love,
ignorant of the present
Never saw it coming,
but felt the change of seasons
Latently… a long time ago,
creeping in silently
With moods and priorities changing,
the smilies of affection… gone
The marathon conversations,
turned into monosyllabic answers
The instant replies… gone
My Summer skipping Autumn,
being my Fall,
Winter stepped in,
announcing the cold front.
And now I remain,
frozen in time…
Without any goodbyes,
All hopes of a lifelong summer…
Gone… Long gone..!!
O’life… You and I,
Why are we..?
Old rusty railway tracks,
in a journey together
Running parallel,
side by side
O’life… You and I,
laid on a bed
of grieving stones
Connected by grey ties
of melancholy
Yet never meeting,
never touching
O’life… You and I,
seeing, feeling, talking…
from this close,
yet so far
Emotionally out of sync,
eyes teary and vision blurred
Unclear mumblings and
unfinished conversations
Broken dreams and dying wishes
O’life… You and I,
bearing the hefty burden,
of a lifetime spent,
on borrowed happiness
Weight of a kingdom,
of pain and sorrows,
in chilling complete darkness
O’life… You and I,
Just to get by,
side by side
These numbered moments,
and pre-determined breaths
Yet, never coming together,
or crossing over
Nor knowing…
O’life, pray tell me…
Before my last breath,
Come talk to me sometime..!!
کیا پوچھتے ہو۔۔۔
چھوڑو، جانے دو
کیا، کب اور کیسے۔۔۔
سوالات چھوڑو، رہنے دو
مرض پُرانا ہے
درد کی لہر نئی۔۔۔
موج نئی
بہنے دو۔۔۔
کیا پوچھتے ہو۔۔۔
کہاں کھویا ہوں
چھوڑو، جانے دو
کیا سوچتا ہوں
تُکے چھوڑو، رہنے دو
مرض پُرانا ہے
درد کی لہر نئی۔۔۔
سوچ کی موج وہی
بہنے دو۔۔۔
تُم خوش ہو، اچھا ہے۔۔۔
باقی باتیں بےمعنی ہیں
دکھڑے چھوڑو، جانے دو
میری مانو، میں خوش ہوں
شکوک چھوڑو، رہنے دو
مرض پُرانا ہے
خوشی کی لہر نئی۔۔۔
موج نئی
بہنے دو۔۔۔
The more things get easier
Accessible,
And distances shorter,
Humanity moves apart.
Once we had a cold war;
Today, merely a cold world.
Beauty of life; diminished.
The art of communication; Gone.
No need for preparations or efforts,
No need for pen, paper or stamps…
For, now, we are constantly at war.
A media war; socially.
A war
Of words.
Hateful ones
Empty at best.
Emotionally barren,
Open lies
Blatant disregard of morality,
And values long gone.
Press enter…
And the damage is done.
Done in obscene silence,
And pure cruelty.
Not a ripple is visible
Of the cause and effect
On the soul or broken heart
Of the recipient.
Of the lashes of the words.
Pain of the sender,
Numbness of the recipient.
"Open Letters" 